


Overthinker

by pastel_x_tea



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: (or maybe not a fix it? just changing implied canon), Canon Divergence - Act Your Age (Phineas and Ferb), Closeted Character, Coming Out, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Gen, Post-Canon, Sappy, convoluted dentistry-related metaphors, feel like i should probably establish that off the bat, like really sappy sorry guys, not Ferbnessa, ph1nf3rb shippers please don't interact, this fic is kind of a mess okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25605136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastel_x_tea/pseuds/pastel_x_tea
Summary: In which there has been a big, big misunderstanding between Ferb and his family regarding Vanessa, and he's not sure how to "set it straight". Maybe some Ukranian food will help.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 65





	Overthinker

"You're going to have to tell them at some point, you know."

Vanessa glared across the table at Ferb, who was suddenly taking a particular interest in the restaurant decor. He caught her eyes for a split second and huffed.

"Don't give me that non-commital, selectively nonverbal sigh, Ferb," she scolded. "You've been thinking about it again. You haven't even touched your borscht."

It was true. His beet soup sat uneaten in front of him, the spoon miserably slouching down into the broth, a glop of sour cream forming a lonely island in the middle of the dish. He picked the spoon up and stirred it around the bowl a few times, breaking up the smetana and turning the dark red color of the soup to a deep pink.

"Happy?"

"No, Ferbs, I'm not, and you shouldn't be either." Vanessa took up a spoonful of banush. "Why don't you just _tell_ your family you're-"

Ferb dropped his spoon, letting it clatter against the dish and splashing borscht onto the white tablecloth. "Don't."

Vanessa dropped her head into her hands. After a deep breath and a minute of silence between the two, which Ferb spent stirring his soup as if there was no conversation to be had, Vanessa looked back up at him.

"We can't keep up the charade forever."

"You don't like it?" Ferb continued to swirl, a tiny vortex having now formed in the center of his bowl. "I find our 'dates' quite nice."

"That's not what I- ... I mean, no, I don't like it, but _not_ because- I mean I like going out with you... not 'going out', going out, but I like being with you, but not 'being with' you... I just-"

Ferb held back a chuckle.

Vanessa shot him a fierce glare across the table. "Ferb! I'm being serious. _I_ have a _girlfriend_ , and you, you have-"

"A debilitating fear of rejection? An aversion to change? Irrational separation anxiety?"

"... yes. Yes you do."

They shared a few minutes in silence, Vanessa finishing off a much-needed glass of wine as Ferb continued to stir, his gaze lost in the whirlpool he'd created in his soup, hyper-focused on the _clink, clink, clink_ of his spoon against the sides of the bowl. He was swirling with such fervor now that it was forming a pink foam along the edges of the dish. Vanessa finally broke the silence.

"You can be honest with me, Ferb. Is this about 'them', or is this about _him_?"

Ferb began to bounce his leg under the table.

"I knew it," Vanessa said. "For someone so reserved, you're kind of being an open book right now, Ferbs."

"Maybe you just know me better than I know myself. We really don't make a bad couple, you know," he proposed with a smirk.

"Shut up," his so-called 'girlfriend' teased. "We _might_ make a good couple... _if_ you weren't seven years younger than me. And if we weren't both... you know."

"I don't know. Enlighten me."

_"Gay."_

Ferb sputtered. "Oh. Yes. I suppose that could be a problem."

The issue breached, Vanessa leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms. "So you're seriously saying that the person you're most afraid to come out to is your own _brother_?"

"I didn't _say_ anything."

"You implied it."

He blinked. "... perhaps."

"Ferb, it's _Phineas_. What's the worst that could happen?"

"The worst that could happen is that microorganisms could become completely resistant to antimicrobial drugs, creating a super-bug that would slowly and painfully wipe out the entirety of the human race with no hope for recovery."

"Ferb."

"Okay, the worst that could happen is... hm."

Vanessa cocked an eyebrow. "You can't even think of anything, can you?"

"The worst that could happen is that... maybe he thinks I'm not Ferb."

"Didn't that already happen with your sister once?"

"No, that's not what I mean." He fell silent, lost in thought for nearly a full minute, staring at nothing in particular. "I don't want to become someone Phineas doesn't know. The Ferb he knows would never hide anything from him. He's so... he's so nice, so kind, so trusting, and I _lied_ to him." He paused, studying Vanessa's reaction. "... I know it doesn't make sense, but-"

Vanessa gently reached across the table and took his hand.

"No, it makes _perfect_ sense. Can I tell you something?" Ferb silently nodded. "When I came out to my dad, I was just... _scared_. And my dad is, like, the nicest evil guy I know. I thought... I don't know, he'd be mad at me or something for 'keeping a secret' from him. Or... sad that I kept it from him for that long? I... I'm not sure what I thought would happen, actually. I just had this vague, looming feeling that it was going to be something bad.

"But my dad..." Vanessa chuckled. "He had this convoluted metaphor for my coming out. He said it was like when I was little, and I would run up to him with one of my baby teeth, soooo excited that I'd finally lost one. And every time we saw each other, I would show him how much my new tooth had grown in. He said I wasn't being anyone _different_ , and my baby tooth wasn't 'hiding' anything, I was just ready to show him a new part of me that made me happy. He said... 'No matter who you are, you'll always be my Nessie'." She smiled fondly.

"Your father calls you Nessie?"

"Don't question my sappy childhood nickname, 'Turbo Ferbo'," she jeered. "My point is, you, like... _you_ you. You're _always_ gonna be Phineas's Ferb. You're _Ferb_. No matter what. Maybe my dad's convoluted dentistry-related metaphor doesn't make sense either, but-"

"It... made me feel better."

She squeezed his hand. "That's exactly what I was hoping for."

He looked down at his borscht. "You know, I think I'm going to pack this up to go."

"Anywhere I can drop you?"

Ferb smiled. "Home would be fine."

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written in a while, so my apologies if I'm kind of rusty or if some part of it isn't canon-compliant (or, I mean, less canon-compliant than this fic already isn't). Thank you for reading and supporting my fic!


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